| Acting gay with myself |
[02 Jun 2005|11:52pm] |
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mood |
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 This means high....i guess |
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music |
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Muffled screams from my closet |
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I know it's very unlike me to do this, but I like these things, which is proly really gay, but whatever, we're all sortah gay.
What would you do if:
I cried:
I asked you to help:
I was becoming suicidal:
I killed myself:
I died from natural causes:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I started smoking:
I stole something:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got in a fight and you were there:
What Do You Think About My:
Personality:
Eyes:
Face:
Hair:
Clothes:
Voice:
Humor:
Choice of music:
Mannerisms:
Family:
Would You:
Be my friend:
Tell me the truth, no matter what:
Lie to make me feel better:
Spread rumors about me:
Keep a secret if I told you one:
Loan me some cash:
Hold my hand:
Take a bullet for me:
Keep in touch:
Try and solve my problems:
Love me:
Do me:
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(5 pokes | Bend the penis)
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| Glacka |
[23 May 2005|10:42pm] |
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mood |
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 I can make puppets |
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music |
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the sounds of a shaving razor on my balls |
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I think I am going to sell my testicled for 100,000.00 a piece and use to money to make my scrotem into a zipper change pocket.
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(9 pokes | Bend the penis)
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| Bitches ain't shit |
[17 May 2005|07:51am] |
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mood |
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 crack on my gums |
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music |
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the sounds of my foreskin going back and forth |
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I have noticed that everyone seems to enjoy taking pictures of themselves. They take their cameras and they hold them out and take a picture hoping it turns out how they want it. I don't have a problem with people having pictures of themselves, it's not a bad thing....but why don't they have somone else take the picture? Now in every picture there an outstretched arm between them and the camera. I guess it's just cool now to have your arm in a picture...which is why I am going to become and arm photographer. I am going to get a really nice camera and take pictures of peoples arms. I'll be like the salvador dali of live journal. I mean people pay for this shit, why wouldn't they pay for the pictures I take.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................I am going to go to a childrens clinic and a cancer ward with a samuri sword and get a big pile of arms to shoot..............................mmmmm
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(Bend the penis)
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| A sweet dedication |
[29 Apr 2005|11:06pm] |
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mood |
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 eternal summer bitch |
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music |
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Knock my Bitch Up by Abbey |
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I wanna have sex with crazy indie girls...................................................................................................................................................................and then not call them........................................cuz they're crazy.........................unless I want to have sex again.................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................... ....................................................................................................................................... ....................................................................................................lots of dots
this entry was fucking pointless, so in a way I feel proud for wasting your time.
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(2 pokes | Bend the penis)
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| reflecting is for faggots |
[25 Apr 2005|10:01am] |
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mood |
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blahb aobhaoi |
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music |
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poop on my chest by stevie |
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I am supposed to write a reflection on my years here at sparhawk highschool so that when people come visit the school they can read and be like, awwwwwww they love this place, I better come here. Fat fuckin chance they're gonna read any rapturous quires of praise from me. I am not going to forced to write a paper so that they can feel better about the horrible jobs they have done. But, because to graduate I have to write this paper I am going to give you a little taste.
Every morning I wake up at 7:00, shower, dress and eat. Then, I get in my car and drive 30 minutes down interstate 95, through tolls to Salisbury, a very dirty town, where I go to a school of 50 or so students. I can say that I am friends with many of my peers, but only at school. Outside of school I don’t socialize with any of them, at least not a regular basis. So I don't go here for the friends. The education I receive at this school is better than that of a public school and the teacher base things on more of a personal level, but my only real goal is to finish what I need to finish and leave. I believe in a better education, but I also believe in self education as apposed to the sed system assigned to us. So why do I drive an extra 20 minutes, get let out of school an hour later than all my friends, pay 2 dollars in tolls plus a private school tuition to come to Sparhawk?
As many of you know sparhawk is a ultra liberal school for kids who were picked on by jocks in highschool or for kids who just suck at relating to anyone else. Then theres the other section, consisting of kids with liberal democrat parents who just fuck around in highschool so their parents send them here so that the teachers can deal with their kids more. Whatever, I am out in 2 months, and then its on to the eternal summer
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(2 pokes | Bend the penis)
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| Balls on the forehead and dick on the nose |
[23 Apr 2005|01:05am] |
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mood |
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 yepo mister man |
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music |
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Backlava Moz NI ALKSJDF |
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You were expecting something funny weren't you ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Fag
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(Bend the penis)
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| This one time, I saw a dog on the side of the road, and I ate it |
[06 Apr 2005|09:45am] |
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mood |
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This I guess is a mood |
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music |
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Jesus Loves Me When He's Inside Me by The Baby Shakers |
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It's come to my knowledge that there is a growing population of fat retarded people. I don't just mean really stupid but normal people, I mean actualy retarded people. I have lumped the two categories of actualy retarded and really stupid into one pile and called my action against these people the FRGA (Fat Retarded Genocidal Action). My idea is to sanction off all the actual retarded people on a tropical island with lots of pretty colors and birds and plenty of BBQ ribs. But, no napkins, so they must remain dirty and slimy from the BBQ suace. This way when the french try to "rescue" then, they will see that they are all dirty and get all frenchy and turn around. As for the regular but really stupid fat people, we're going to start a new fashion line using their innards. For example, that long stringy thing that is in the stomach, that will be the new belts and necklaces, and the actual fat will but sown together and turned into sportscoats and little bootys for babys and dogs. This will be after they're all taken out of their trailers and shot in the back of the head. Also, the movie "I Am Sam" will be banned unless the following criteria for the movie is met.
1. The Main Character "Sam" played by Sean Penn must kill at least 12 people with a colt 45 or a sawed off shot gun
2. Sean Penns cohorts, who in the movie are other mentally handicapped people must be played by Joe Peshi, Al Pacino, Marlon Brando, Tommy Chong and Jason Voss
3. At the end of the movie, the woman playing Sean Penn's Lawyer must attack "Sam" with a small unsharpened pencil and kill him.
4. If Sean Penn does another movie like this he will be executed by John Wayne Gacey (the hollywood hero)
So it is written, so it shall be done.
P.S. if you go to catholic school, go to prom with a same sex date (not for real just as a joke) this way the nuns will freak out and die of pnemonia (I fucked up spelling that (among other things))
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(3 pokes | Bend the penis)
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| Sinking in the Eternal Abyss that is my Soul....waaaaahhh |
[29 Mar 2005|09:51am] |
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mood |
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yahhhh baby, touched |
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music |
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The sounds of the dead prostitute |
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So, as of Saturday I am 18 years old. So, guess what I did on saturday night. I got a lap dance, from a nasty disease ridden whore in seabrook by the name of christy. Yep, she put me in a little room, and I put 5 dollars in a hole in the wall, and 5 dollars in a slot thing and then the wall came up, and there she was. In the room was a black rotted old couch with no backing, a box of tissues and 4 walls. The room was about 4 feet by 2 feet, I couldn't even stretch out my legs. The dancing began after I slipped the money into the machine. She had a shitty little boom box, and some rap came out of it, and then she proceeded to put her legs over her head and girate her ass. I was stunned. Not at this horrible piece of shit dancing before me, but at what she was doing. She was singing along with the music.....thats right.....singing........like a whore. So, right then and there I said "hey there missy, I didn't pay for no singing, and I didn't pay for this either. All I paid for was a good time and I don't seem to be having one." She gave me a fierce look from the other side of the glass and stopped singing.
I had 5 minutes left before the door would close, and I kinda felt bad for the stripper because she was nothing but a washed up souless flap of skin at this point, so I decided to entertain her. I stood up and I danced, taking off articles of clothing as I did. She was bewildered, and stopped dancing. Thats when I busted out my nine and put two in the bitches head and cootch. Nobody sings bad rap to me.....nobody.
Then I bought some salvia next door and tripped balls
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(2 pokes | Bend the penis)
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| This Company is fuckin Bi-Polar |
[18 Jan 2005|11:39pm] |
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mood |
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actualy I chose at random |
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music |
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Cum Face by Emily Traynors Mom |
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Yah, so this is a real entry, well, more of an update. Livejournal booted me because of some bitch who complained too much, then I tried to sign on and the thing let me, so either the E-Mail was a fake, or the company ceo's are just really dumb. Either way, I'll do some more entries here and there, until I really am kicked off (thats my goal).
My manager is kinda hot, but she is a bitch, so I would like to become the guy of her dreams, and make her fall desperately in love with me. Then, after like 5 months of passionate sex and a perfect relationship I will tell her she is fat, and she will develop an eating dissorder. Slowly she will start going nuts because of the lack of nurishment and all the vomiting. But, the sex will still be good, I just won't have to talk to her. Then I am going to tell her she is ugly so she blows all the money she has on plastic surgery. Then I am going to tell her I need some money, and she is going to sell her car so I can have her money. Then I am just gonna leave her and she will die somewhere alone. But, the sex will have been good, so it is of no consequence.
I am a very lonely young man
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(1 poke | Bend the penis)
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[02 Dec 2004|11:43pm] |
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mood |
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emily traynor loathes fags |
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music |
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Pixies - Where is my Mind (my favorite song) |
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This is a new high quality online test. You will answer these questions in your head and then determining on how you answered them, the computer adds up all the answers and tells you who you are. Its very interesting, if your open to psychics. So, answer these question.
1- Am I dumb
2- Am I fat
3- Am I a slut
4- Am I hot
5- Do I cry too much
6- Are my pants too tight
7- Is my hair died black
8- Do I have a shit load of pins of bands on my jean jacket
9- Do I wear a metal plated belt like everyone else
10- Do I not do any drugs
11- Do I constantly bitch
12- Do I listen to shitty music
13- Does my penis curve (men only.........actualy considering its live journal its open to everyone)
14- Is the only song I know by The Pixies "Where is my mind"
Scroll down to find out who you are.
If you answered yes to any of the questions above, your a cunt!
If you answered no, then your still a cunt because you actually took time out of your life to answer a stupid online quiz based around your need for reassurance and narcissism.
Hope you enjoyed this test, see you later!
P.S. STOP FUCKING TALKING ALL THE TIME
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(5 pokes | Bend the penis)
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| department of motor vehicles |
[30 Nov 2004|11:09pm] |
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mood |
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what am I babbling about |
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music |
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My cock goes SPLURP when i hit it against a table after mast |
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I would like to now celebrate the Department of Motor Vehicles, or the D.M.V., by writing them a poem.
FUCKING STUPID OLD PEOPLE
THEY'RE LAZIER THAN FUCKING MEXICANS
I HOPE THE WOMAN I TALKED TO NAMED JEAN
WALKS IN ON HER HUSBAND WHO IS UGLY AND FAT MASTURBATING TO A WHORE PEEING ON THEIR OLD CAT SCRUFFYS TALE
THEN AS SHE RUNS CRYING OUT OF HER MOBILE HOME
HER NEIGHBOR, Wifebeater McGee, THINKS SHE'S A BLACK PERSON OR "nigger" AS HE WOULD SAY.
HE MIGHT ALSO SAY "coon" "darky" "hershey" OR "large penised one with rhythm"
EITHER WAY HE SHOOTS HER IN THE FACE WITH HIS SHOT GUN
BUT SHE DOESN'T DIE AND IS SCARRED FOR LIFE
AND CAN'T WORK AT THE DMV ANYMORE BECAUSE WHEN SHE TALKS ON THE PHONE SHE DRIBBLES AND SPITS LIKE A MAN WHO HAS MORPHINE INJECTED IN HIS LIPS AND A MOUTH FULL OF WATER AND NOBODY CAN UNDERSTAND HER BECAUSE SHE DOES THIS
BUT BECAUSE SHE IS A RIGHT WING CHRISTIAN SHE CAN'T KILL HERSELF
SO SHE BECOMES A BUM AND JERKS GUYS OFF WITH HER ELBOWS (she uses her elbows because she lost both her hands in a boating accident)
AND DIES A LONELY LIFE
This next poem is for Jeormy, another DMV phone service person who I spoke with a few months ago
It's one of those poems that has 3 lines, and are consistent of 7 syllables on the first and last line and 5 in the middle one. The poem sounds like Hi Ku but I am not sure on the spelling because I suck at spelling so here it goes.
I SIT IN MY CUBICLE
BREATHING HEAVILY
I LIKE TO JERK OFF AT WORK
-Follow Up-
SMICKER SMACKER SMICKER SMACK
PEANUT BUTTER FLUFF
WILL NEVER GET LAID AGAIN
This is what you get when you don't send my suspended license back in time you assholes
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(Bend the penis)
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| CANCER |
[15 Nov 2004|07:36pm] |
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mood |
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the face depicts being high... |
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music |
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Cock in the Ass by We're Strait But We're Sensative |
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STOP USING LIVE JOURNAL, IT CAUSES CANCER!!!!! ITS LIKE HOW MOST FOOD IN SOUP KITCHENS ARE MADE OUT OF OTHER POOR PEOPLE WHO DIED AND THEY COOKED UP! SO USING LIVE JOURNAL IS LIKE EATING HOBO'S, AND HOBO'S SMOKE, SO YOUR EATING THEIR CANCER, SO STOP OR YOUR GONNA END UP IN SOME BAD CUPCAKES AND NOODLE PIE SOONER THAN LATER!!!!!!!! !!
CUNT IS A FUN WORD, BUT NOBODY ELSE LIKES IT.
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(1 poke | Bend the penis)
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| This is for everyone |
[11 Nov 2004|08:24pm] |
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mood |
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FUCKING SUNNY DELIGHT |
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music |
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Another Gay Song About Bitches and Money by Jay-Z |
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Now, the last entry was a joke, but this one is sorta serious. I want you, if your reading this, to think about your life as of yet. Think about how much money you spend, how you are in grades, how your sexlife is, what you plan to do, etc etc. Now, realize this, your aren't going to be able to do any of the things you want. All in all your going to end up working some shitty temp job because you didn't have the initiative to go through school and work with the system. Your going to marry a woman you hate, but stay married out of convienence, your not going to have kids because you can't afford it and your both going to live through your shitty retirement on your ass until you die at 76 because you started smoking cigarettes in 8th grade. Now, imagine that you do get the things you want. You have money you have a woman/man you love you have kids you adore and everything is great. Your kids are going to despise you and piss you off, your wife/husband is going to die, your going to have money problems sooner or later and then the stock market is going to crash and your going to jump out your office window landing on one of your kids as they enter the building to tell you about how much they're sorry for their angst and how much they love you, killing them and leaving you paralyzed. You spend the rest of your life in hospital bed paying for services with your dead wifes/husband things, things you said you would never part with. So, basicaly, what I am trying to say is, if you listen to rap, just put a bullet in your head right now, otherwise people who matter might try and kill themselves with those bullets. This way, the bullets are sold out everywhere and instead of genocide, it's manipulation of your psyche resulting in "suicide."
I'm not bias to anyone, I just don't like rap.
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(4 pokes | Bend the penis)
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| WAHHHH |
[09 Nov 2004|09:27pm] |
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mood |
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because its a bigger word |
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music |
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I'm a faggot nigger cowboy with one testicle by the towel he |
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Oh my god, today I saw this guy wearing an ambercromie and fitch shirt with tight jeans. Now the preps are stealing our style. I mean, I hate ambercrombie, cuz I hate big corperations....cuz they're big, but I love tight pants, and now they're gonna start wearing them. I almost cried, but I cut my finger instead. Or at least I pretended to, to get attention. But then, when I told him how I felt, he called me gay. That was the worst part, because he had to use that slur. I know I'm not gay, but I hate it when people use those words, its just so insensative and mean. I wish the world would just not say those kinds of things, its just soooo hurtful.
So I went to this Dashboard Concert last week, it was sooo much fun. I wore my tight black T-Shirt that my gut hangs out of, and wore tight little pants. They were sooooo tight, they were a size 48. I even re-died my hair black, the color of my soul. When I got there, I started crying right when I walked in the door because of all the emotion in the room. It just overtook me and I couldn't control myself. But, then some kids started smoking pot, and nobody seemed to do anything about it. I even told security, but they didn't do anything about it either. Don't people know not to do drugs, I mean, its soooooo stupid, I wish everyone could just be strait edge and wear tight pants and cover one eye with their black hair. Why does everyone have to be sooooo stupid and mean. I feel so alone, even though there are about 1000000 people within a one mile radius of me who are exactly the same as me. I just think the world is just soooo stupid, and it should be fun, but people should cry at least once a day, so emo doesn't go away.
I am gonna go cut myself now, but not really. I just want people to think I did so I get attention.
Toodles
(for your information, this is not me. I am making fun of live journal people......people like you)
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(5 pokes | Bend the penis)
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